Grieving the Old You (Even When You’re Excited to Grow)

You hear a lot about healing. About rising. About evolving into your best, highest, most aligned self.

But there’s a quiet part of growth no one really prepares you for:

Grief.

Yes, even when you want the growth. Even when it feels aligned. Even when you know the past version of you was living small or stuck or surviving; you can still miss her.

And that’s okay. Growth still grieves.

Last week, I had one of those moments. The kind that feels like a cosmic gut-punch.

The kind where I deeply felt the struggles of stepping into something bigger & aligned, & I even said, "Screw it. Burn it all down."

Not because I didn’t love the work. Not because I didn’t believe in the impact. But because the old me showed up, panicking, doubting, questioning everything I’ve built.

She whispered fears rooted in trauma. She reminded me of the times I tried & "failed." She begged me to shrink.

But I knew she wasn’t here to sabotage. She was here because she didn’t know any better.

She was grieving, too.

And instead of ignoring her, I chose to sit with her. To listen. To learn.

What We’re Really Grieving

When we grow, we don’t just shed habits or roles, we let go of identities.

• The version of us that thought survival was the same as success.

• The part of us that clung to "logic" over intuition.

• The self who didn’t yet believe she could have a life she loved.

Grieving those versions means honoring the lessons they gave us and acknowledging they no longer fit.

For me? I’m grieving the belief that I need to earn my worth through titles or financial status. That being "logical" is safer than being aligned. That I can’t be supported unless I’m "successful."

She was gritty. She was driven. But she was exhausted.

And I’m ready to let her rest.

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Growth Doesn't Silence Fear...

It Teaches You to Dance with It.

Let’s be real: just because you’ve done the work doesn’t mean the fear disappears.

In my most recent spiral, fear showed up like this:

• "You’re too much."

• "You’re a burden."

• "If it hasn’t worked by now, it never will."

Sound familiar?

Here’s what I did differently this time:

• I named the fear.

• I shared it with someone safe.

• I gathered evidence against it by creating new, positive experiences.

I leaned into my support system & asked for what I actually needed, a reminder that I’m not alone, too much, or unworthy.

Because the truth is, fear isn’t a villain. It’s a wounded part of you that wants to feel safe.

When we stop fighting her & start listening, we begin to rewire the story.

How to Grieve Your Old Self (Without Losing Your Spark)

This isn’t about erasing your past. It’s about honoring her. Because the you that got you here deserves recognition, not rejection.

Try this:

• Write a goodbye letter to the version of you you’re releasing. Thank her for what she taught you.

• Create a small letting-go ceremony: burn the letter, bury it under your favorite tree, or place it beneath a crystal that supports release (Apache Tear or Black Tourmaline are powerful here).

• Let your Self-Care Language guide your grief. Whether you’re a Soul Seeker, Heart Nurturer, or another, tailor your process to what feels healing for you.

And most importantly, give yourself permission to be sad & excited. To feel scared & courageous. To cry & celebrate. The key lies in the "And" it's not one feeling OR another, you CAN honor & feel both.

Growth is messy. But so is birth.

The New Beliefs I’m Choosing to Carry

I am worthy of showing up. I am safe to be supported. I am not a burden.

And I am choosing actions to prove these to myself, even when it’s uncomfortable:

• Asking for help before I’m in crisis.

• Creating structure that supports me, not boxes me in.

• Taking action on the dream I’m not ready to tell you about (yet).

So...

If you're standing at the edge of your next evolution but find yourself grieving who you've been, you’re not broken.

You’re becoming.

You’re shedding. You’re softening. You’re rising.

This is what real self-care looks like. Not bubble baths & Band-Aids. But showing up for yourself when it’s hard. Grieving AND growing. Falling AND getting back up. With intention. With integrity. With you at the center of your healing.

And if you’re craving support to move through this season with more clarity, trust, & personalized guidance, this is exactly why I created the Guilt-Free Glow mentorship.

It’s where healing stops being a checklist & becomes a lifestyle.

Want to do a bit of self-work?

Journal Prompts to Guide Your Grief:

• What part of your old self are you grieving the most & what did she teach you?

• What old belief is still gripping tightly to your worth?

• What new belief are you ready to embody, & what uncomfortable action can you pair it with?

• Who can you lean on this week, & what do you really need from them?

Ready to Personalize Your Healing?

Start by taking the Self-Care Language Quiz to discover your dominant style of care & learn how to support yourself in ways that actually work for you.

Then explore:

• Healing jewelry made with intention

• The Guilt-Free Glow mentorship for long-term transformation

• My Healing Library for digital downloads and support tools

Your healing journey is personal. It should feel like it was made just for you.

Because it was.

So, what version of you are you learning to honor and release right now?

Let’s grieve, grow, & glow. Together.

Note: This blog is intended for informational purposes & reflects personal experiences. Individual results may vary.

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