Striving for "Peace" is Stealing Your Happiness (and Why Balance is the Real Holy Grail)
Tracy Anderson
Let’s get one thing straight, Beautiful Soul: you will never be 100% stress-free. And the constant chase for peace-as-perfection? It’s draining your joy faster than a beige wellness influencer can say "positive vibes only."
I said what I said.
Now lean in—because this is the blog I needed ten years ago when I was doing all the things "right" but still felt like I was doing it all wrong.
The Truth No One in the Wellness World Wants to Say Out Loud
I had a client recently ask, "Shouldn't we strive for peace instead of balance?" And my answer—with love, with clarity, with the fierce protectiveness of someone who’s walked through the fire and still smells like smoke—was this:
Peace is not the goal. Balance is.
Here’s why:
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Life will always come with stress. That’s not failure—it’s just life.
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Peace isn’t a permanent state. It’s a moment, not a lifestyle.
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The constant pursuit of peace can make you feel like you’re doing healing "wrong."
And that? That right there is what I call spiritual gaslighting wrapped up in a Pinterest quote.
The Myth of the "Peaceful Healer"
We’ve been spoon-fed this story that "healing" equals floating around in a state of glowing perfection—no anger, no overwhelm, no big emotions. Just serenity candles and essential oils.
But the truth? If you’re human, you’re going to feel stress. You’re going to get angry. You’re going to feel sad. And that doesn’t mean you’re broken—it means you’re real.
I see it all the time with my clients (and I’ve lived it myself):
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The woman who shoves down her anger because she thinks a "healed" person shouldn’t feel that.
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The mom who feels guilty for snapping after a long day because she was told "love means selflessness."
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The client who hides her anxiety behind a smile because the world says, "just shift your mindset."
What Chasing Peace Actually Does
It creates shame.
Because when the hard days hit (and they will), you wonder: What’s wrong with me? Why can’t I stay in peace? Why can’t I be more grateful, more positive, more like that girl on Instagram with the palo santo and the perfect feed?
And so you shove it down.
You numb. You distract. You tell yourself you’re over it.
But you’re not. You’re just buried under the weight of an impossible standard.
The Spicy Truth: aka What Actually Works
Balance.
Balance is what lets you:
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Feel your feelings without drowning in them.
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Be joyful and hold space for your grief.
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Dance between overwhelm and groundedness without losing yourself.
It’s not a finish line. It’s a flow.
And finding that flow? That’s where the real healing lives.
For context, these photos are taken during a time I was masking happiness while deeply struggling with anxiety and depression.
My Personal Story:
I spent years chasing peace like it was the prize at the end of a self-improvement scavenger hunt. I thought if I just did more yoga, more journaling, more "letting it go," then I’d arrive at this magical place where nothing ever rattled me.
But I wasn’t at peace—I was bypassing.
I ignored the burnout, the grief, the anger, the resentment—all in the name of being "spiritual enough."
And it wasn’t until I embraced balance that things began to change. I stopped trying to "fix" myself and started getting curious. I stopped chasing a fantasy and started living in the now.
And most importantly: I stopped shaming myself for being human.
How Balance Changed My Clients' Lives Too
I've had women in my Guilt-Free Glow mentorship come to me sobbing, saying things like:
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"I feel like I have to be happy all the time to be healed."
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"I get overwhelmed and immediately feel like a failure."
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"I want peace, but all I feel is pressure."
And every time, we return to the truth: Balance > Perfection.
Through deep mindset shifts, energy healing, and building practices based on their Core Self-Care Language, they discover how to:
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Build resilience (not fake peace)
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Feel their emotions without fear
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Create rituals that replenish instead of shame
Start With Your Self-Care Language
You don’t need to do more. You need to know what works for you.
That’s why I created the Self-Care Language framework. Because just like you have a love language, you have a way your nervous system receives healing.
Here’s how it might look:
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Energizer: You need movement to process emotions. Start with a mindful walk before meditation.
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Connector: You heal in safe relationships. Call your person before you spiral.
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Heart Nurturer: Ritual and comfort help you release. Think tea, cozy blankets, and candles.
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Mindful Explorer: You need understanding. Journal out what you’re feeling, even if it’s messy.
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Soul Seeker: You crave meaning. Light a candle, pull a card, talk to the moon.
Understanding this changes everything.
You stop shaming yourself for what you "should" do and start honoring what actually helps.
For context, these photos are current photos after I stopped striving for peace and chose to find Balance in my life. These are some of my happiest moments!
When you stop chasing peace and start creating balance
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You feel more grounded, even when life isn’t.
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You build a life that supports you instead of draining you.
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You reconnect with your intuition and start trusting yourself again.
That is the heart of my mentorship. That is what my jewelry carries. That is the soul of Your Intuitive Joy.
Because you don’t need to be healed to be whole. You don’t need to be peaceful to be powerful. You just need to be you—honestly, messily, joyfully, you.
Ready to stop chasing peace and start building your joy-FULL, balanced life?
Take the Self-Care Language Quiz to begin reconnecting with yourself on a whole new level. And if you're ready to go deeper, Guilt-Free Glow mentorship is waiting with open arms.
Comment Below: What’s one “positive vibes only” saying that actually stresses you out? Let’s call out the BS together.
You’re not broken, babe. You’re breaking free.
Note: This blog is intended for informational purposes and reflects personal experiences. Individual results may vary.
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